Friday, June 14, 2013

Letting Go


 “Letting go” is a BIG topic.  It is an inevitable landing spot for my clients, my friends and my life!

For me, my love/hate relationship with letting go is usually connected to my ever-evolving process of walking away from perfectionism!  (Yikes, we got there fast!).  It usually has something to do with me not trusting that I am good enough without working to choreograph my life to perfection.  As Oprah put it, “perfectionists are ultimately afraid that the world is gonna see them for who they really are and they won’t measure up”.  So my” letting go” tends to be centered around unreasonable expectations for myself or others and whether or not I’m willing to accept help without trying to control the help.  Once I am reminded of the connection between “letting go” and perfectionism, I can embrace the reset, but it is not always easy for me to see it and to act upon it.

 There are obvious “letting go” transitions in life…your child’s first day of school, your child’s wedding day, your retirement, your aging and so forth.  It is the more subtle “hanging on/letting go” struggles we often don’t even notice, that cause us discomfort.  I am talking about the “hanging on/letting go” struggle as it relates to control.  Giving up control (like we ever really had it) is a step we ultimately have to take in order to evolve and grow.  DARN IT! 
The topic of “letting go” surfaces when a new Mom realizes she is in serious need of help.  It can be emotionally charged when she discovers the fact that the cost of getting that help is “letting go” of her way of doing things.  Funny how we sometimes wear ourselves out struggling to hold on to our way of paying the bills, our way of bathing the baby and our way of planning events. 

The wisdom of “letting go” can also surface when we discover a belief that no longer serves us (for example, ”the busier I am the more important I become”).  We often think that “letting go” means giving up or losing something.  Anticipating the transition from “career woman” to “career woman/mother”, one of my clients experienced a sense of sadness at the change coming to her world.  I asked her if she could see the possibility of “letting go” not as the loss of who she was, but rather as an expansion of who she was becoming.  “Letting go” always results in a gain.  What is gained is merely a reset of our intentions and priorities.

Having the awareness that solutions to my struggles might lie in “letting go” allows me to make way for fuller and richer experiences.

If you think you may have something to gain by “letting go”…I can help!  Contact me:

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